From Paris With Love (2010)

I had every intention to begin a steady stream of reviews of Oscar Winning movies today, starting with the Best Picture winner from my birth year, Amadeus. I sat down to enjoy Amadeus last night at about 12:30, when I realized the movie was three hours long. Thus, before my quaint organizational approach to the movie aspect of this blog begins I present for your reading pleasure my review of From Paris With Love.

I chose From Paris With Love because it was literally the first movie that popped up on my Netflix instant queue. Also, I distinctly remember telling myself I was willing to pay to see it, and then never going. Obviously fate was looking out for my wallet in this situation.

This movie is a classic “almost” movie. We’re almost dropped right into the story, which I enjoy greatly in action movies, but instead we’re given a good ten-minute chunk of back story that is at best nominally important to the plot of the movie. As Reece [Jonathan Rhys Meyers] is introduced to the crazy world of (presumably CIA) operative Charlie Wax [John Travolta] we are almost able to identify with him as a character and either root for or against him. The plot does have some originality to it, but because the movie is delivered as a tour de force from the moment Wax is introduced, it is only almost good.

The acting is surprisingly palatable for an action movie, but then again it’s possible that setting Sylvester Stallone movies for my baseline could skew things a bit. Travolta runs from beginning to end showing that cockiness and little bit of crazy that made movies like Broken Arrow and Face/Off fun (that’s right, I said it). Meyers remains appropriately confused throughout the movie as his character is dragged all over France in what is supposedly the mission that will make or break his attempt to crack Field Ops. These two eat up most of the screen time, but as your stereotypical by-the-book/outlaw partner combo they really don’t present anything strikingly new to the genre. The plot does have a few enjoyable twists but their utility is nowhere near maximized, especially the movie’s atypical ending.

Easily the most underrated part of this movie is Travolta’s ridiculous half-Arabian half-biker gang member costuming, which only serves to increase the wanton fun of his character.

Overall, From Paris With Love is a very watchable ninety minutes of movie delivered much in the vein of Jason Statham-style action movies. The critics at Rotten Tomatoes only gave this film 23%, and while I rarely disagree with the Tomatometer, I’m calling it out here.

Rating: 6/10

Wednesday Book Review

"In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks" by Adam Carolla

Review Rating: 4/5

I have always said that one of the greatest literary feats is to make me laugh out loud while reading. Interpersonal jokes, stand up comedy, and comedy of the visual and audio mediums are not always necessarily easy to make funny, but because there is considerable more situational ambiance in non-literary formats the degree of difficulty is not quite as high. George Carlin and Dave Berry used to be the entire pantheon of comedic writing for me. That was until I read Adam Carolla’s book, In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks.

From airport security to gender roles to Los Angeles food, Carolla lets loose on society in a way that only he can, letting us know all the different ways we go about things wrong, and how make sure we don’t piss him off should we ever run into him. If you’ve ever heard Carolla launch into one of his famous rants then you’ll understand the way this book reads. It’s fast, funny, and loaded with comedic punches. Carolla is not overly verbose, but he manages to keep things interesting with a wide array of various epithets for the people he dislikes.

Two particular chapters stood out to me. The first, entitled “Fucking Nature”, had me doubled over on my couch with tears streaming down my eyes. (Sidenote: Comedy to me is judged by how many times I go into one of my famous giggling fits. Carolla’s book is a 4.5 on the Pete Giggle-ometer. That’s comically analogous to losing your virginity to a supermodel.) “Fucking Nature” is a great chapter for animal lovers and haters alike, and I promise you will never look at animal shit the same way again.

The other phenomenal piece is the chapter titled “This Is Not a Hate Crime”. Race is a very touchy subject in our culture today for all the wrong reasons, and Carolla tells you exactly how he feels in ways that are hard to argue against. The hypocrisy of semi-educated people seems to be the bane of Carolla’s existence, and by the time you finish the book you will be hoping to find yourself in many of the situations Carola describes, just so that you can do the Ace Man proud.

The most shocking part of this book is the deep sincerity with which it opens and closes. Carolla may be an extreme cynic, but even his impoverished childhood can’t keep him from a genuinely positive outlook on human nature.

Adam Carolla has shot to the top of my list of role models. He embodies a political philosophy I like to call “extreme realism”. Neither the neo-conservative scam artists nor the hippie liberal douchebags are free of criticism, because in a number of places their worldview just doesn’t make sense. Carolla is the Messiah of Logic and when we finally reach the End of Days I hope he and I can wheel a keg of Bud into the nearest strip club and ride into the proverbial sunset in a very literal drunken haze.